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JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.

Customer Reviews

3.5 average for 233 customer reviews

INVADED SOUTHERN NEPAL, WORKS LIKE A CHARM!!!

So I decided after I got my Nepali-American girlfriend pregnant and she skipped out to Nepal the day after she have birth that I would track her down to get my baby boy. But how?? I mean, how the hell would I get to Kathmandu, Nepal? Well, I got the trusty Badonkadonk Tank, that's how!!! I airlifted this b*tch to Pakistan via a Muslim buddy I know, dropped it off and treked through the Dhawalagiri and Gandaki zones with NO PROBLEMS!! The Nepal army couldn't do anything to this tank...rounds bounced off like flies, and eventually compelled a surrender. I think the terms were something like, "yo, you can have this b*tch, just get that JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank out of our country!!!" Yeah. best 20 stacks I ever spent.

This is how I roll.

Many of you know that for years I have cruised the streets of Dayton, Ohio looking fantastic in a pimp-a-licious 1978 Lincoln Mark V (Hello ladies!)

Three weeks ago, I was just cruising around chillaxin like I do and KABLAM... my engine threw a rod and blew a head gasket simultaneously. This was bad... way beyond my abilities to repair. Besides, I had on my The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee and a fresh pair of Zubaz Pants (Hello ladies!) and I wasn't about to risk getting them all greasy.

I'm sad to say this was the end of the line for my Linc. I loved that big-assed car.

I walked to the nearest used car lot and bought myself a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank in the same shade of rust as my beloved Lincoln. The Donk wasn't as long as the Mark V was, but it is quite a bit taller. With the extra headroom, I can even wear my Beer Mug Hat during my commute, which is nice, because I like to be looking my best when I'm cruising (Hello ladies!).


Pros: The Donk seats 12 comfortably. Mine came well equipped with the optional water bed in lieu of a cargo area (Hello ladies... Holla!)
Cons: The Donk doesn't use wheels so I can't re-use the 22 inch spinners from my Lincoln.

It's too easy

Dating is not very difficult for me as a rule. I'm extremely attractive, the frontman of a thrash polka/80s cover band in Nebraska and killed a sparrow with my forehead growing up. Let's just say the decked is stacked against average from the start. When my ex wife got tired of the constant touring with Asschowder and the late night calls from women wanting to sleep with me after the show, she decided to sleep with a co-worker and make me single again. Needless to say, that is news the single population of hot women in Nebraska were watching their local newsticker waiting for.

So now I was single. I could end this review right there and you would pretty much assume it was datestock for me, but I'm never fine with just winning the game, I choose to reinvent the game. Welcome to the tool that women were not prepared for, the JL421 Badonkadonk land cruiser/tank. I remember one day imparticular when I was grocery shopping. I picked up some frosted mini wheats, cashews and a bunch of other staples in the McB-pimp diet. So I'm getting checked out by hottays in teh checkout aisle (checked out in the checkout, yes, that just happened). I bag my own groceries because I don't trust the below average high school kids to pack my ceries the way I need to ensure proper unpacking efficiency when I get home. I carry all of my groceries to the car no matter how many I get because I'm not a pansy. I'm a very powerful mammal! When I got to the Donk, all hell broke loose. Putting two and two together is always a nice feeling, but putting me, being single and the donk together was too much for the plaza parking lot. Women just spilled into the parking lot like an out of control flood. As I pulled out of the spot, I had to use my artillary to keep the women off the Donk because I had to get home to watch Silver Spoons. Unfortunately, the Donk isn't that swift so women were chasing me on foot and diving on the tank. I had to shoot some women and some women had to die that day. I'm not proud of that fact, but the rules are the same around town as after an asschowder show. I can't sleep with every hot woman that wants to sleep with me, you just run a higher risk of dying when I'm in the donk. There is an acceptable loss ratio every time I take the donk out and I do try to stay within those boundaries.

Average stood in front of the donk once trying to pull a teentaman square move once and average was flattened like a freshly ironed shirt.

Best way to ruin your neighborhood

I used to live in Nevada but too many of my neighbors bought these lousy Donks and I was forced to move. It always sounds so innocent when it starts. Oh, we'll buy a Donk so we can go bullseye some womprats in Beggar's Canyon. Soon enough, post-apocalyptic marauders, looking like they had dressed up like the band KISS thrown in with a love of showing off their S&M desires in public, showed up with their Donks, demanding tributes from our fuel and water reserves. In the Donk's favor, you can drive the thing while standing up. One of the marauders with a hockey mask, a bunch of metal spikes on his shoulder pads and a whip, apparently steered one of them but he kept falling off. While the Donk is not allowed on public roads, as a recreation vehicle, you can take it to giant dome cages where people fight to the death and stand on top of your tank screaming "Two men enter, one man leaves" over and over again. I can't say I have seen a Donk since leaving the Nevada wastelands but the moment one pops up in my neck of the woods, I'm moving again.

Can't wait!

I just ordered one and it should be here by Tuesday. Ok, Mr. Johnson, you still want to park your Hummer in my parking spot?

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